your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
