She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
