Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
