I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
