good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
