dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
We need to rekindle our bromance
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
