I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Randomize
