South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
