She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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