Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
