he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
