i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
