it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
We just shotgunned beers for America
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
