We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
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