I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
