i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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