I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
