She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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