That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
