i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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