you turned your livingroom into a bong?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
