i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
