so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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