Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
