I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
