So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
you mean i was at the winter classic?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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