omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
