I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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