I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I will pee on everything he values.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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