I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
