butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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