haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
