Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
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