Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
