OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
