I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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