Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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