i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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