youre lurking in front of me
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
