just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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