I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
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