there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
