he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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