I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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