I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
