people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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