This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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