I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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