did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
