Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
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