I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
is it fun? or sober?
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